Me. My Life. And Crap.



Sunday, February 15, 2009 @ 11:18 PM: My messy head of thoughts...
Well, before I start my official post...
Go and check this out guys!!

My friend, Phraveen, had just joined a Valentine's Day event called Table for Two.
And he managed to win the title of "Most Creative Couple" Hahaha.
Cool huh?

Anyway,
Here's a profile of all 10 contestants:

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2009/2/15/education/3245219&sec=education

And if u guys want, u can go check out his blog.
He's got a more detailed say on what happened there^^.
I've got his link on my friend list.

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Sigh.
My mood/luck swings are getting more and more unstable these days.
As is my sanity.

Sometimes I dunno what do I want.
I think of all sort of stupid things that I doubt normal people would do on a daily basis.

Example,
I would constantly question my choice of college course.
I know I did make the choice myself this time.

The last time, I was forcibly put into TARC by my dad.
But then, I managed to persuade him to let me out.
And before I went into SeGi, I had a month to think about what I wanted.
But during that time, I was still a little confused with everything.

Though, I did manage to make quite a sane choice thanks to Rachel, who introduced the idea of joining SeGi College's Double Degree in Psychology and Communications.
After all, I did have interest in both those courses from the beginning.

However, these days I'm having some second thoughts ever since I manage to think straight.
I mean, its not as though I dislike this course in any way.
But, I really don't want to wait till I'm in my 2nd year before figuring out this isn't what I want.

I actually had a couple of interests back when I was choosing:

1. Psychology (but u guys already know that)
2. Communications - Journalism (I was only interested in writing novels, not newspapers)
3. Interior Designing (something I'm STILL not so sure about)
4. Music (Anything music. But unfortunately, I don't have any talent in that area..)
5. Performing Arts (Or acting to be more precise.)


No.5 must've been at least 2nd place in what I wanted most, behind Music which was no.1.
But, I passed on it because I thought that as much as I loved acting, it wasn't exactly something I should persue in Malaysia.
Because, not to be evil, but Malaysia isn't exactly famous for their movies and creativity.

And even if there were great actors like Michelle Yeoh, as you can see, she's no longer in Malaysia.
And for good reason.

So well, I gave that 1 up.
But now, I seem to be starting to feel a hint of regret for not persuing what I really want.
I mean, life is short and we should live it to the fullest right?

We shouldn't waste even a second doing something that you're not really that interested in.
You should persue your dreams.
Which is why, my problems resume.

Now, I am wondering if I have made the right choice.
If I should rethink my choices while it is still early...
Or am I just being paranoid.
Sigh.



Another question that I seem to wonder more often these days is, "What am I good at?"

I mean, if there was a talent show for any talent you've got,
what would be mine?

I honestly dunno what am I good at.
I can say that I'm merely average in whatever I can do.
And I don't have anything that is better than anyone.

I sometimes get really frustrated over that fact.
Just wish I knew what I was good at.
What was my talent.

Just as you can see in the Table for Two profile page I've shown you guys at the top of this post,
Everyone is able to describe themselves.
Everyone can remember doing something special or have a special hobby or talent.
What is mine?



And another thing is, "Who am I?"

Yeah, I know.
Many ppl wonder.
But lets say u were given a piece of paper and asked to describe yourself.
What could I write?

I can only write about all my bad stuff.
But never once could I think of any of the good stuff I had.
Seriously another big question.


AND.
I dunno is it just me or something.
As most of my close friends know, I'm more close with girls than guys.
I have a lot more girl friends than guy friends.

However, that could be one of the problems.
I mean, everytime I am close with a girl,
I feel like we are getting to be come better friends.

And thats the most.
Never once, could I ever see a girl and feel like that is someone I hv a crush on and want to be my gf.
Haizzz..... soooooo emo-ing now.



Lol.
I still say that yesterday was the best V Day I've ever had.
Got to celebrate my singlehood hahaha!!
But truthfully?

I think every single one of us was really just putting on a mask.
I'm not saying we didn't have fun.
But just that sometimes during yesterday, I caught glimpses of our masks falling off.

Underneath the masks, we each hid our own Sadness, Envy, Loneliness or Regret...
Deep down, no matter how much we said, I'm pretty sure all of us wish we could've celebrated V Day with a special someone.

Though still, I don't regret spending the day with them yesterday.
Nor do I regret what we did or said.
It was an awesome way to spend the day.

And definitely one of the craziest bunch of friends I know!! xD



Anyway, that's me.
Mr. Emo these days.

Can't seem to keep one mood for more than a day.
Just hope I can atleast solve my question about my choice of college course soon.

I'm drowning in thoughts and assignments and activities these days.
But I still must somehow find the time and way to solve this problem.
The sooner the better.


G'Nite All!!

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