Me. My Life. And Crap.



Tuesday, January 20, 2009 @ 11:06 PM: My day was horrible. Whats new?
ARGGHHH!!!!
What the hell is wrong with me these days?!!!

One moment the day seems to go so well, that even a heavy rain wetting me and my fav new sweater couldnt damper my mood, then the next minute i'm freakin pissed!!


I went to college 2day, forgetting to bring the assignment proposal tht i spent all night doing ytd, but I still wasnt pissed.
Then, after colelge I went to walk around MV alone searchin 4 chi yan's bday present, and didnt find anything in the end.


Still in a good mood.

Better still, found some T-Shirts that were reli cool and reli was wat i was lookin 4 all along!!
They cost abt rm75.90 each t-shirt but i reli dun give a damn.
Here's something I would willingly let my wallet scream about for quite awhile.

Its about time I pampered myself a bit and let myself act like a normal shopaholic teen for once.
So, I called Sara and invited her to join my search for the present again on Friday, and help me pick out 2 t-shirts b4 CNY.
I'm gonna look awesome and rock this chinese new year!

B4 i left, I went over to Watson to get myself a new shaver and some aftershave.
The old shaver has been bothering my skin for quite sometime.
Always end up cutting myself with the no longer razor sharp blade ==''


Then, in the heavy pouring rain, I ran over to the bus stand opposite MV to catch a bus back since my dad wouldnt come to fetch me.
Still, in a good mood.


By the time I got back, I was already completely soaked.
But AGAIN.
I didn't reli care much.
In fact, it was a little fun.


But by the time it hit night, its like my whole personality changed.
My mom had asked me to give her back her money that she helped pay 4 me at the hair salon last week.
I was fine with that though my wallet was screaming in pain.

But then, I told her i only was gonna give her back rm100 coz another rm100 is for my tis month allowance that she never gave me yet.
Its almost end of the month anyway!

Then she kept tellin me she didnt hv enuf money and she wanted to take back another rm50 1st for now.
I was reli frustrated but just complaint a little, as anyone would when their plans to spend that cash on a good new and nice clothing!!
My mom just said that I kept spending on expensive stuff.


KEPT spending?!!!
WTF la!! Seriously.
I always save my money any don't spend too much.
She said that I always eat expensive stuff and waste money.
She also said I always went 2 eat at Starbucks dunno 4 wat.

WTHF!!!
I only ate thre tht ONE freakin day with Sara last Sunday!!!
And she says I always eat thre like my daily routine is to head over to Starbucks...

I was soo god damn affended and pissed.
But I shut up and went over to watch tv.


After awhile, I did some calculations on whether or not I could spend on those 2 t-shirts now.
So I went over to my mom and told her to pls give me the money as soon as possible (I said in cantonese "尽 快")

But then, she kept starting bak and saying I'm so uncosiderate and pushy and rushing her to give me the money.
Then, my temper hit wayyyy up again.

I told her to stop jumping to conclusions and asked her if she knew what the meaning of "as soon as possible' meant!!
I mean, seriously. I said that means when she has the money only give me back coz I reli do nid to use it.
Not for the clothes, but for my everyday life...
But she kept denying that fact and said stuff like as son as possible aso cannot la coz she dun hv the money.

I was so frustrated and told her that come on la!!
I said as soon. AS SOON!!
Means dun nid deadline, but just when u finally at last got the money!
Saying "Ok, i will as soon as possible" would help!!
Even if u noe u cant anytime soon, just saying it 2 b understanding wouldnt hurt rite?

I kept defending myself until she couldnt deny that I was correct after all, then she told me okok la. I know la. U go do ur own things la.


It seriously pisses me off when ppl know their wrong but leave u hanging there like ur still the guilty person.
Its like ppl charge me of guilty of murder, and then i defend myself, then the judge just doesnt seem to tell me the result whether I'm innocent or not.
A simple "sorry" would have helped!


Is it too much to ask to want ppl to actually care about my life?
To not think that everything I do is pointless and unnecessary?
Just becoz u lived in a diff time and things were much simpler then, doesnt mean they are now!

I don't hate my mom.
I do love my mom.
But its just that, sometimes its reli frustrating and anoyying whn ppl always seem to accuse u of things u didnt do or just jump to conclusions about ur intentions.
Especially whn u didnt mean any harm in the 1st place and are trying to be the nice person.



I dunno la.
These days I'm like riding a roller coaster.
Sometimes mood gud, then suddenly completely opposite.

Swt. This reminds me of pregnant ppl mood swings.
Thank God i noe thats not happening to me!! ==''


I reli... HAIZ!!
My life is soo fucked up right now.

I hope tomorrow won't be another day of drama.
I reli cant take anymore..
All I reli want now is for CNY 2 hurry up and get here and stay long.
I dun wanna care about anything.


College to me is like such a small thing right now.
Personally, I'm a mess inside this head of mine.
Don't ask me why.
If I knew what was the prob, I would've done something about it by now!

And another things is that its so tiring to always try to be a good person.
To be nice and caring and understanding and tolerant to everyone.
Sometimes u just wanna tell ppl "I don't give a damn!" when I reli dun wan 2 b bothered with others problems.
Or maybe just wanna yell "Fuck you!" to some annoying ass which has been pissing u off since forever!!
And not even care that ur yelling a bad word.

My mom would freak if I ever even muttered a vulgar word.
I dont think anyone but Sara n V.Shian hv ever heard me say anything vulgar.
But even they hv only heard me say it max 10 times in my life???
And I've known them both ever since we were kids and when I was abt 3 or 4yo!!

In writing, probably u guys hv seen once in a blue moon.
The rest, I yell in my mind alone.

That sucks.
Coz sumtimes i feel lik thres an invisible block around my throat whenever i feel like saying vulgar words.
I think I'm starting to get over it. ;P



I wanna be crazy.
I wanna be me.
I wanna be able to be selfish and only think about my needs sometimes.
I wanna live life MY WAY!
I wanna live life unconstricted by worries and problems which are unnecessary, but I seem to keep putting on my own shoulder!!



Whatever.
I'm just well, again, pissed and in a bad mood.
I'm just typing what I'm thinking or feeling now.
I don't even know if its logical but I... haiz watever la.
I'll probably get over it by tomorrow.

Ignore me.


G'Nite Guys n Gals!!
**sry guys, no colorful words or pics 2nite.
not in the mood.**

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