This really was the highlight of the day.
Brought back so much fun memories. I really miss everyone.
I actually wanted to doa gathering but it seems that everyone is so busy with their lives now.
Hopefully this year end i can do a small one atleast.




CLOUDY.


Well, the rest of the day was just plain boring.


Until, i received an sms saying that my movies assignment had some changes in quiestions.
So, that meant I had more work to do. Lucky me.
Nevermind. So I just did it.


But then, I had to think about all the other assignments and presentation this couple of days.

Friday - Movies presentation
Saturday - Maths assignment.
Monday - Biology presentation (which i've nt even begun to prepare for!!)

Not to mention the English presentation I've got on 18th Nov so who knows when I'll have to hand in my Final draft as well.


Thinking about college stuff eventually got me thinking about how I'm not going to have anymore transport to colelge next semester sincem y cousin bro aint studying near my college anymore.
I'll have to find other means of transport.
So, I merely suggested to my mom that I stayed in the hostel.


But, she just told me: "Why must you always take the easy way out? Why can't you take the bus?"
Then, I got angry and replied: "I'm not taking any easy way out. You think I want to stay outside if I got the choice? I don't care. No matter what I won't take the bus."


Right. So I wasn't trying to be unreasonable or anything.
But it was just that I felt hurt that my mom would think that.
I know she is worried about our financial status. I know.


Which is why I suggested it instead of suggesting I drive to college everyday.
Petrol price is much more expensive than a monthly rent of rm250.
Saves alot of time driving up and down and energy!


And I wouldn't take the bus because the classes are starting earlier so that would mean I'd have to worry about my timing of catching the bus to make it on time to class AND rushing my assignments, dealing with my studies, and all that other crap in my life!!


Sigh.


Seriously, sometimes I feel so stuck.
I want to be understanding. I want to help as much as I can.
But sometimes I just feel like doing things my own way for once.
Sometimes I just want to stop acting like I give a damn in front of people and ask them to "fuck off!!"


I've gotta deal with college stuff. I've gotta handle my family stuff.
I've gotta be the good friend. I've gotta be the good brother.
Most of all, I've gotta try and improve my personal life AND achieve my dreams.
I've got too much to do and handle!!


But no. I have to keep my emotions in control. I've gotta put on a smile all the time.
Everytime I leave my house I must seem to be this person without worries or problems.
Or atleast, someone who is handling their problems alright.
There are days where I feel so stuck that I don't even bother leaving the house.
It's just too much to be acting all the time!!


I really don't know what to do.
Maybe I'm just stressed out.
I wish this semester would end quickly.


But then, I would have to add another thing to my To-Do-List. Get a job.


Sigh. I know I did that many times already in this post.
Nevermind.
I think I'm going to bed now. I've got a Movies presentation tomorrow.
Will post again soon but if I don't, I'm probably busy.